Why Young Tennis Players Are More Receptive to Coaches Than Parents

If you’ve ever watched your child nod attentively at their coach, only to roll their eyes at your well-meaning advice, you’re not alone. It’s a common experience for parents of young tennis players — and one that can be both confusing and frustrating. After all, you care deeply, you know your child well, and your intentions are good. So why does your feedback land so differently from a coach’s?

Here are a few key reasons why children tend to be more receptive to coaching feedback than parental advice — and how understanding this dynamic can help you support your child more effectively.

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1. Coaches Represent a Different Kind of Authority

Coaches often represent a structured, neutral form of authority that kids instinctively respect. Their role is clearly defined: they’re there to help players improve. This objective, professional relationship allows young players to accept correction without feeling like it’s personal. When feedback comes from a parent, it can feel emotionally charged — even if it’s delivered with love.

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2. Feedback From Parents Can Feel Tied to Approval

Even when it’s unintentional, kids can interpret parental feedback as a reflection of approval or disappointment. This emotional undertone can make it harder for them to accept constructive criticism without feeling judged. A coach, on the other hand, typically separates performance from personal approval, which allows kids to focus on the message, not the emotion behind it.

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3. Coaches Speak the Language of the Game

Coaches have a deep understanding of technique, strategy, and player development. Their feedback tends to be precise, actionable, and tied to performance goals. Kids are often more willing to listen to someone who speaks with authority and clarity — and whose advice directly leads to better results on the court.

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4. Kids Crave Independence

As children grow, they naturally seek to carve out their own identity and autonomy. Listening to a coach gives them a chance to engage with someone outside the family and develop their skills in an independent space. When parents try to guide too closely, it can feel like an intrusion into that space, even if it comes from a good place.

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5. Coaching Feedback Is Usually More Timely and Contextual

Coaches often give feedback immediately during training sessions or matches, when the moment is fresh and the correction is directly applicable. Parents often wait until after the match — in the car ride home, for example — which can make the feedback feel like an emotional debrief rather than a helpful tip.

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What Parents Can Do

This doesn’t mean parents should take a hands-off approach — far from it. Your support is vital. But rather than giving technical advice, your most powerful role is to provide emotional safety, encouragement, and perspective. Ask questions instead of giving answers. Let your child process their experience. And above all, trust the coach-player relationship to do its job.

By respecting your child’s need for autonomy and allowing the coach to guide the technical and tactical aspects, you help create the perfect balance: a safe home environment and a trusted coaching environment, both working in harmony to help your young player thrive.

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At Our Tennis Journey, we believe that great coaching is only one part of the equation. When parents and coaches understand their unique roles, young players are free to grow, learn, and enjoy the journey — both on and off the court.