Why the Drive Back Home Is the Worst Time to Chat With Your Young Tennis Player

As parents, we naturally want to support our kids — especially after they’ve poured their heart into a tennis match or practice session. The drive home seems like the perfect time to talk. They’re right there, seat-belted in, with nowhere to go. So, we ask questions, offer advice, replay the key points, and sometimes, unintentionally, we lecture. But here’s the truth:

The drive home is the worst time to talk tennis.

Here’s why:

1. Emotions Are Still Raw

Whether your child just won or lost, the emotions are fresh. They may be feeling frustrated, disappointed, embarrassed, or even quietly proud. But they’re not always ready to talk about it — especially if things didn’t go their way. Jumping in with comments or corrections can make them feel judged or overwhelmed.

2. They Need Space, Not a Breakdown

After a match or intense lesson, your child is mentally and physically tired. What they often need most is just a moment to breathe, decompress, and shift gears. Silence or light conversation (about anything but tennis) helps create a safe space where they can process on their own terms.

3. It Can Hurt Your Relationship

Many young athletes say the car ride home is the most stressful part of playing sports — not the match itself. Constant post-match analysis can turn a fun activity into a pressure cooker. Over time, this can chip away at your child’s love for the game — and your bond with them.

4. You’re Not Their Coach (Even if You Are)

This one is tough, especially for tennis parents who know the game inside out. But when it comes to the drive home, the best hat to wear is the parent hat — not the coach. Encouragement and unconditional support go a long way. Let their coach handle the technical stuff at the right time and place.

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So What Should You Do Instead?

Keep it simple. Try something like:

    •    “I loved watching you play.”

    •    “You competed hard today.”

    •    “What do you feel like for dinner?”

Let your child bring up tennis when they’re ready. Sometimes it’ll be later that night. Sometimes it’ll be the next day. And sometimes, they won’t want to talk about it at all — and that’s okay too.

Because in the long run, what your child will remember most isn’t your brilliant tennis insight — it’s how you made them feel after the match.

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Let the car ride be a calm one. A safe one. A supportive one.

That’s the best drive home they could ask for.